The Art of Letting Go: Part Three- All pain is not the same
There are different levels of pain experienced by people.
Although pain should never be compared to each other in a way that suggests that one pain is less or worse than another, the reality is that all pain is not the same. Painful experiences can often overlap with each other and may grow into deeper forms of pain.
The remedy for healing differing types of pain should not be a one size fit all approach. Just saying to someone, let it go, although sounds like it might help in actuality it often further stigmatizes people particularly when sorting through culturally nuanced or contextual traumas.
In learning the art of letting go, we must remember that it happens in small increments.
I used to think that being done, or letting go with it was like enacting a form of cold turkey, but it is not. It is a gradual sense of letting go, like a movement toward understanding the different pieces of the abuse .
What do we really mean when we say to let it go? Does it mean that we have to drop the experience immediately?
I think what we mean to say is “keep working through it, and in time you may feel better”. Moreover, if we really care about the person who takes the risk to share their pain, we might be trying to say, “work through it, I am here and when you are ready maybe you will let go of it, or maybe you will let it have a different meaning and place in your life. Whatever you choose to do, I affirm and honor your healing journey.”
What happened to us, happened to us! We begin to heal because we learn over time that we will finds lots of different ways to let go. There is not one way to let go.
Some of the pain may take a lifetime to heal, and other forms of pain may take a shorter time period. The amount of time is not involved in the formula of supreme healing.
The fact that we are on the path to healing is the most important point.
When and how we let it go is secondary, what matters most is that we continue to practice the art of letting go.